I realise reading over the headings of my blogs that I have been painting a rather one-sided view of my life avec les enfants. It is easy to focus on the exhaustion, stress, mind-numbingly repetitive tasks and plain hard work, and forget all the good stuff. Yes, it's true that sometimes I find myself daydreaming about my alternate 'almost' life which consists of an off-white ultra modern flat, a mercedes convertable, gucci sunglasses and shiny professionally blow-dried salon hair with bright red fingernails to match. In this fantasy i'm strolling down the streets of New York, goddess hair flowing behind me and prada mobile to my ear. I'm negotiating a million dollar deal and am swinging my marc jacobs bag with insouciance as I clear a path through the oblivious pedestrians and make my way back to my36th floor office with the windows, the secretary and the espresso machine.
This day dream is usually broken with the crash of something being flung over the bannister (giant toy penguin...hardback book...toy computer...you name it) and I am rudely transported back to my over-cluttered front room, the sound of beeping horns outside my window, and the smell of something untoward. I sigh, mop up the umpteenth mess of the day (and it's only 10:30 am) and try to focus on the good bits.
Little Noah's smile can make up for a thousand soiled nappies. It's so beautiful and so transforming that I realise i'd be nothing without it. His glittering eyes and intensely beautiful countenance is what sustains me daily. Egg's unprovoked and spontaneous 'lip kisses' likewise put the smile back on my face after a hard day. When he comes up, looks deep into my eyes, tenderly strokes my cheeks and declares them to be 'beautiful'...well - not even being on the cover of Vogue could do more to boost my self-esteem :)
The other day I bravely (I say bravely as it's only been a few months since i went from being humpback whale to human female again) wriggled on a mini skirt, tights and boots (though why i thought a grocery shop at Tesco warranted such an effort I can't rightly say) and was candidly informed that i looked 'cute' by my two year old and that he liked my 'tights'. Nice. Glad to know I've still got it! Nursury school boys watch out - this mama's on the prowl.
Poor Grandma's been sick with a bad flu ever since she's arrived and no amount of cough syrup, fresh oranges or 'Toddler TLC' is having much effect. However given that she is woken most days with a feather-lite whisper of a kiss upon her cheek, Grandma claims there is nowhere she'd rather be -sofa or no sofa - flu or no flu - than right here with her beloved grandsons.
And you know, that's kind of the way I feel too :)