This would explain why she texted last week to say she was sick and couldn't come. (And here I was thinking that it was yet another in the string of notorious texts from cleaners making up all manner of excuses why they can no longer clean our shambolic home.)
Having gone through this once before with our beloved Polish cleaner Dorothy, it is not fun having a pregnant cleaning lady. For starters, there is the gut-crushing guilt that someone in 'that' condition is heaving hoovers up three flights of stairs and breathing in all sorts of potentially toxic cleaning fluids (sigh). Then of course there is the fact that you feel obliged to 'help out' - thereby rendering the whole idea of roping in help kind of pointless.
I did what anyone would do when faced with such a predicament. I reached into my wallet and gave her a pay raise on the spot, all the while calculating her due date and realising with dismay that we'd be lucky to have her stay on till Christmas.
Still, that's not the least of my worries...not even close. Dumpie has taken to foraging for bits of old chewing gum and popping them into his mouth to achieve a once again soft consistency. I was alerted to this today when leaving the library and proudly being shown a piece of bright green chewing gum in his mouth, which he no doubt procured on the floor behind the 'New Fiction' aisle while I wasn't looking. URGHH!!!!
Dumpie is also going through his 'Terrible Two's' and as such is terrorising the household.
The other day in church we actually got kicked out (in as much as one can be politely asked to depart and cease disruption in the house of God.) Unfortunately it was an 'All Ages' service - which though fine in theory is actually a nightmare. As horrific as it was to observe them racing up and down the aisles during the hymns, this was nothing compared to the humiliation of witnessing their very public wrestling match right up in front of the alter a short while later.
Auntie Mo and I each grabbed one under an arm and shuffled our disgraceful selves out of there in full view of the congregation.
Sometimes my life seems like an unsuccessful sitcom about to be cancelled after it's first season. Truly.