Saturday, 26 June 2010

"It's Vodka O'Clock"

For $6.70 you can procure, here in Bali, a 350ml bottle of 'Mansion House Vodka'.  It is precisely enough to be consumed in its entirety by three willing participants, leaving each with a rather squiffy hangover the following morning.  

Though a somewhat inferior Indonesian vodka, spontaneous 'capful-o-vodka shots' and Lindt dark chocolate chasers add a rather festive note to what would otherwise be a rather trying imbibing experience.  At any rate the husband, myself and our lovely girlfriend from Sydney had to justify the protracted journey last night in the rain, all of us huddled in the minivan, kiddies almost asleep, to all the Circle K's in the area, hunting down Mansion House Vodka like it was Prohibition.

This morning in the early hours we woke to a whiny, insistent Dumpie standing by our bed, poking us, admonishing us for lying prone, and pleading for us to get out of bed.

"Get up Mama!  Get up Dada! Geeeeet Uuuuuuuup Noooooooow!"

He claimed to be after a bowl of Rice Krispies.  However after the husband had leapt out of bed - deeming the abandonment of slumber preferable to the prolonged, mind-numbing whines of a three year old - Dumpie's story changed.

He came clean about the real matter on his mind:  his soiled underpants and the spherical globule of fecal matter contained therein.

"Mama, I make poo-poo in my pants," he confessed.  "You change me."

"Dumpie, is this why you wanted me to get up?" I asked.  "To clean you up?"

Dumpie nodded solemnly...busted.

So, hungover, exhausted, and feeling distinctly revolted, I turned on the shower and set about  scraping clean the dirty inner thighs of my youngest.  I stood there mentally grumbling and wondering why it's always me Dumpie corners to deal with his 'accidents'.

Several soapy suds later, Dumps was restored to a moderately clean state, and back in the fray, he joined the feral running of laps round and round the kitchen area with the other three munchkins.

Have I mentioned that the child to adult ratio has recently shifted to a worrying 4:3 scenario?  Egg and Dumpies Aussie playmates are here for two weeks of ice-cream licking, oreo cookie gobbling and chocolate wafer scoffing.  And they've gotten off to a great start.  Yesterday breakfast was a three course affair, consisting of numerous bags of crisps and countless Ritz crackers.

Only six months apart they are excellent playmates and at least keep themselves occupied most of the time - allowing the three adults in question to spend their time in more worthwhile pursuits like vodka sourcing and chocolate quaffing.

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