Sunday, 24 January 2010

"Ignorance is Bliss"

I'll tell you what...last week (with four weeks to go until our big 'Drop-Out' to Goa) I was feeling fairly confident about the whole packing up endeavor. Much like a naive bride on her wedding night, daydreaming about a future of romantic dinners, and manifold uses for her brimming lingerie drawer...the reality had yet to sink in.

Now it has.

I have come to the conclusion that in order to get everything we need done (and this isn't even including such luxuries as a full body wax, a much-needed haircut, or shopping for bikini's...)in just three weeks, something is going to have to give.

At the moment that something appears to be my body and the outer fringes of my sanity. (The to-do lists in my head have their very own to-do-lists, which branch off into crazy tangents of such complexity, that to put pen to paper and illustrate the workings of my troubled mind might actually precipitate the encroaching nervous breakdown I sense hovers just out of reach.)

I partially blame our estate agent. A jovial young fellow, he admitted the other day to being a former personal trainer who now runs marathons. When sharing with him my recent enthusiasm with running, he quizzed me on my progress and seemed surprised that I had been thus far unable to break the 30 minute mark.

(Him): "What carbs do you eat before you run?"

(Me): "Carbs??"

(Him): "Well, what do you have before you run?"

(Me): "Nothing...?"

Queue look of disbelief/mild horror/sympathy....

(Him): "Well when you come back, what do you have then?"

(Me): "Um...a cappuccino....?"

It turns out that the reason I run out of steam when I run (and want to die....) is because my body has no fuel and my heart is trying desperately to find energy. Apparently my regime of the past five months has been very, very bad.

So yesterday I decided to try his method, and forced down a bowl of muesli and two chocolate chip cookies before I ran (well he did say carbs)...

Wow. He was right! After the 30 minute mark, and after you stop feeling like you want to die, you get a new lease of life, and if you push yourself you can keep going! Amazing!

So keep going is what I did...for a full 45 minutes! I was so proud of myself and so in awe of my body not having fallen apart on me, that I failed even to get embarrassed when suddenly running right into the husband and the monsters having a bike ride in the park.

Now, 24 hours later I realise that I missed one crucial thing. I forgot to stretch.

Last night after a frantic day spent in the boys room getting rid of approximately one half of their toys and books, I discovered that I could no longer bend over. Then I discovered that walking was becoming quite difficult.

This morning I have similar mobility to someone who has been in a wheelchair for months and is just now learning how to walk all over again.

This is not only humbling, but extremely inconvenient. How am I supposed to carry on being 'Super-Woman' when I have this crippling affliction? Urghhh....

So you see, Ignorance IS truly is.

Just ask the 'Me' of one week ago, who blithely announced that she could pack up this entire home in two days if need be.

Two days?!!

I hold my hands up...I am one deluded, yet no-longer-naive crazy woman suffering from massively restricted mobility.


  1. This is so very funny!!!! I also learnt about the whole eat before/after running thing a few years ago, when I joined a running club with my ex. Within 4 months I ran a half marathon....but there were many aches along the way. I actually went horseriding on Tues for the first time in ages. I have only gained full recovery of my legs today, 5 days later.

    Anyway, incredibly boring comment to a very, very entertaining post.

  2. I love that your posting rate has totally gone through the roof when you clearly have no time to do anything. Hope Dumpie is feeling better and you are able to move now...


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