Whispered Threats

Blogging is a very appealing prospect this morning given that my voice is still in absentia. Jay now has a valid excuse not to listen to me or respond when I try and tear him away from his beloved online chess game, and both little monsters have failed to take any of my threats seriously. (Who can blame them? An emphatic whisper fails to illicit anything more than momentary amusement, and then they go right back to what they were last doing...this morning that would be emptying the dirt from our houseplant into the dvd player.)

At any rate, it's a gloriously hot, perfect summers day and I'm sitting at my dining table looking out onto our terrace and contentedly munching a huge bowl of homemade fruit salad (blueberries, melon, pomegranates, blackberries, strawberries, pineapple...) Truly I am a fool though as I should really be using this time to better advantage given that it's my ONE break of the day. Both Egg and Dumps are upstairs having a wee nap listening to classical music and clutching identical plastic rubber balls, occasionally shouting with glee when one manages to whip it across the room.

More and more these two are developing into a tag team with a mission to seek and destroy (or ransack and plunder). Dumpie has now developed his fearless climbing ability to such an extent that he can clamber up onto his own change table in a matter of seconds...therefore our high, formerly out-of-reach kitchen counters are child's play to him. This means that nothing is out of bounds, and the consequences of late have been grave. Fruit, tin cans and flour containers have been hurled down jubilianty these past few weeks and our kitchen floor now sports semi-permanent stains which were certainly not evident when we first moved in!

It's funny how different the boys are though. Egg is a rather sensitive creature and just the other night after he was tucked into bed, I heard quiet sobbing and found him perched on the stairs. Hugging him I asked whatever was the matter and he explained that the idea of 'heaven' was causing him great concern as he wanted to make sure that our house could be in heaven too as he loved it so much. Having gotten past that hurdle he then became distraught about how big and tall everyone would be in heaven because he equates age with growing taller and bigger....so to him I imagine he conjured up an 100 year old giant stomping up above in the clouds..homeless no less!

Egg also loves nothing more than crafts. He'll make imaginary structures (future engineer peut-etre?) out of pretty much anything he can get his hands on: egg cartons, straws, phone bills, sentimental photos...you name it. Armed with only scissors and tape he'll happily spend an hour concocting ridiculous but endearing 'things' which we of course are obliged to put out on display for public appreciation.

Dumpie on the other hand is happiest when climbing, balancing precariously on a small object high in the air, or tumbling off sofa mountains he has built from the many cushions and pillows which litter our front room. He owns several balls as they are his favourite thing in the world right now, and whether big or small he loves them all and is rarely seen without one on his person. He has no qualms about being in a park and stealthily rounding up stray (or not so stray) balls, and depositing them in the bottom of our pushchair. This may partially explain his vast collection.

Speaking of stealing, I caught him with a chocolate bar in his lap the other day coming out of Marks and Spencers. He must have grabbed it when i was paying at the till. Usually though his tactic is to wait until (he thinks) no one is looking, then go around to the other side of the table, pinch Egg's cookie or treat and quickly scamper back to his side, sit down, eat one quickly and look the picture of innocence moments later when Egg is wailing about his lost treat (sigh).

Well must be off. I have exactly one hour (give or take) in which to: exercise, have a shower, send some emails, pay some bills, tidy the house, order a tent for our camping expedition this weekend, reserve a rental car, wax my legs, and fold about 5 loads of laundry. Piece of cake :)