Tuesday, 29 July 2008

'Eggie Crocker'

I've just noticed two sticky cheerios hanging off the side of my grey jersey ra-ra mini skirt (which to be fair probably wouldn't look out of place in a 13 yr olds wardrobe). This does not surprise me given that an entire box of cheerios has just been displaced randomly but spasmodically around the whole downstairs level of our home.

To be fair, I did notice Egg rushing past a few times with what I now realize to be the cereal box, and there was much conspiratory giggling issuing loudly from the Dumps, so ergo, I was once again victim of 'Cheerio-gate'. This has happened before and it has taken many months to locate all of the cheerios, as the pesky little buggers can hide in the tiniest places and will not be seen again (until of course pest control are called in for an excessive fee to locate the reason behind a new infestation of rodents...).

The stage was set for food flinging when Dumps this morning stood up from his little table, glanced up at Egg to make sure he had an audience, then looked over at me to see if I was clocking him (i was) and before anyone could stop him, tipped the contents of his huge bowl of cereal over the kitchen floor and watched the liquid crazily rush to meet the walls. Egg was of course delighted, and only a hoarse scream and the truly scary look in my eyes stopped him from following suit as I scrambled for paper towels, rags, and anything else I could find to stop the deluge! There are now sopping wet cheerios underneath our cupboard units, the mammoth fridge and stuck to various chair legs, furniture and cushions, etc.

This morning started on an ominous note when Jay and I were awoken by a small but urgent whisper from Egg, "Mama...Dada...I'm afraid there has been another 'accident'. I was trying to make peanut butter cookies but it has spilled in the sink and there is a big mess."

He was not joking. Downstairs he had concocted a fairly decent representation of a peanut butter cookie mixture (he's baked with me a fair few times and has pretty much committed the recipe to memory), even going as far as to remember the baking soda and get out the super powerful Dualit hand mixer (thank God it wasn't attached properly or we might have been looking at raising a fingerless child).

Fortunately Jay managed to clear most of the mess before I made it downstairs. Unfortunately what was left had congealed into a paper-mache like consistency which incidentally dries to form an edible cement (trust me - there is no scrub brush that is going to dislodge the stuff!)

In all fairness he did warn me last night, for after being sent to bed a little hungry (as he didn't finish his dinner), he whispered that he was going to make peanut butter cookies when he woke up in the morning. Stupid Mama thought that if he even remembered, that it would take the form of paper, glue, tape, straws, etc. I never dreamed that he intended to get all Betty Crocker on me. I suppose I should also be pleased that the endeavor didn't reach the oven stage or we might have had a real dilemma on our hands.

The boys are now tucked up in bed for their daily nap as I write and once again i must rush off and make the most use of this precious time i have. Jay is out tonight so it's just little ol' me, two extremely conniving little monkeys and list of errands and tasks that is frankly laughable. Thankfully it's overcast today and not as humid as yesterday, but I'm still suffering from a horrid cold, still have no voice (though i've graduated to a croak from a tortured whisper) and would kill to be tucked up in bed with a hot lemon drink and a library book (sigh).

As it stands I'm surveying a house that wouldn't have looked out of place in 'The Exorcist', bags which have given birth to other bags under my eyes, cheerios as far as the eye can see, and have nothing to look forward to today but a long call with our mortgage advisor and a date with Mr. Muscle. Oh joy oh bliss.

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