When the in-laws brought us a travel sized bottle of Febreze back in Goa, I never imagined the importance it would take on, five months in, here in Bali. For Dumpie has suddenly, and inexplicably, taken to wetting the bed most nights.
This would be one thing I suppose, if we were moving around to different hotels each night, leaving urine scented mattresses in our wake. However, as it stands, our new home, the one in which we intend (read 'hope') to stay ensconced for the next couple of months, now suffers from massive wee carnage. No mattress has survived unscathed.
If the older gay proprietor of this place, Alan, who is fortunately abroad at present, were to find out about this assault on his textiles, no doubt we'd be chucked out on the side of the road, clutching our possessions, faster than you can say "But we used Febreze!"
I'll say one thing though. For dog smells, dirty laundry and even the unsavoury whiff of stale smoke, i'm sure Febreze works a treat. But for a three year olds ammonia laden wee, it's a bit like putting a flower arrangement in a dumpster in the hopes of alleviating the stench.
The husband went out and bought Dumpie some giant sized nappies (he is almost four after all) to wear at night. It makes him look like a giant baby monster. Dumpie, truly offended, screamed like a child possessed and refused to wear them. But tonight, after a few Oreo cookies as bribe fodder, and some heavy duty cajoling, we managed to get him into them without any lethal scratches or heavy objects being flung our way.
The other night after he wet our bed, we stuck him in a pair and were awoken this morning to tiny little crab-like pinches on our forearms. It was Dumpie insisting we give him a shower because he'd wee'ed through the nappies. And so he had.
I thought we were past all this. Worryingly this recent penchant for nighttime waterworks coincides with a rather lame show as of late from the laundry service we use. It appears as though our family are now subsisting on something like only three pairs of pants each. So Dumpie has taken matters into his own hands and decided to go 'commando' for the time being. Great.
But I've got more worrying matters to hand. On Monday our little crew shall be setting forth for a family road trip. I'm already dreading it. Vomit, incessant whines of 'Are we there yet?" and reggae music on our little speakers 24/7. Can't wait.
Oh yeah, and did i mention the 4.5 hour ferry crossing? Where we'll no doubt be stuck in our rental car for the duration? It won't be anything like European ferries, that's for sure. There's a super speed ferry that does the journey in one hour flat, but the husband wants to take our rental car, so that's a no go. And there's also the option of a twenty minute flight which costs only $40, but to this, the husband says, "Where's your sense of adventure?"
I'll tell you where my 'Sense of Adventure' is...currently pinned to the ground in a vice grip by 'Common Sense', whilst being taunted by 'Hindsight'.