Sunday, 22 August 2010

"E.N.B. (Excessively Naughty Behaviour)"

"Mama that is very bad you do NOT eat Eggie's cookie - that is stealing!"

This message was relayed via furitive finger thrusts to the face by my three year old this morning after he found out that I'd eaten one of two gourmet chocolate chip cookies I'd bought them.

They'd missed out on them yesterday due to E.N.B. (Excessively Naughty Behaviour).

I'd nibbled one late last night in lieu of dinner you see.

When I foolishly confessed to same, Dumpie immediately assumed that it was Eggie's cookie I'd eaten and of course not his own.  And as for the righteous anger - well I suspect that it had more to do with the prospect of being forced to halve the remaining biscuit than any great sense of fraternal loyalty.

Little Dumps is certainly not afraid to speak his mind.  In fact, I sense he's coming into his own in that regard, and is beginning to flex his verbal muscles in a way that's starting to make me very uncomfortable.

Yesterday, I overheard a conversation he was having with poor Kadek about the hirsute state of her legs.

"Let me see your legs Kadek," he suggested.  Her jeans were obediently hiked up and a calf was proffered.

"Oh have too much hair on your legs" he observed worryingly.

(Cue nervous giggle from Kadek...wondering where this is going.  She's not the only one.)

"Girls not supposed to have hair on legs - only boys!" he stated authoritatively.  (I knew I shouldn't have let him watch me wax my legs).

"No, it's okay...only little hair Dumpie," offered Kadek.

"You have too much hair!  We need do waxing today!" Dumpie decided.  

I stifled a giggle and slipped upstairs.  Great.  How long until Dumps starts ordering Kadek to take of her top and show him her nipples?  This sense of entitlement has got to be nipped in the bud.  The poor woman already spends a great majority of her day constructing tent after tent for Dumps from all the pillows and blankets in the house.  I even observed him telling her off the other day when she foolishly neglected to include a toilet area.  

As for Eggie, while Kadek has been under the watchful eye of the Little Despot, Egg has been constructing little challenges for himself. I'm actually too scared to venture inside the artists studio here and see what effect the Little Professors unsupervised experiments have had on the formerly pristine workshop.  I reckon an apology letter and a fistful of notes upon departure will take care of the worst of it but still...the owner is a painter and is likely to be rather precious about his art work....(sigh).  I'm not sure what he'd make of the fact that his former studio is now a six year olds' "Inventor's Workshop".

Yesterday after grocery shopping the husband and I returned to find Kadek almost in tears chanting, "I so fraid...I so fraid!" and the housekeeper beside her shooting sympathetic looks (she is her auntie after all) as we trudged up the path.

Turns out we'd just missed the spectacle of Eggie climbing outside the upper floor window onto the thatched roof of the villa and precariously side-stepping the entire length of the house while the women vainly tried to get him to step back inside.

No such luck.  And to make matters worse, Egg doesn't exactly possess the innate agility of Dumps (who could scale a tower with ease) and hence I imagine it must have been a terrifying spectacle for the poor women to helplessly observe.

The husband has concluded that we really shouldn't leave Kadek in charge of the monsters anymore while we go out.  I disagree.  We just need to rig up some sort of restraining device on the sofa by the telly, ensuring they have a decent supply of apple juice and oreos cookies to hand, and then it should all be fine.

Kadek can then put her time to good use downstairs by teaching herself how to construct the mother of all temples out of cushions.

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