Monday, 12 July 2010

"Down and Out in Bali"

They say that when life hands you lemons, you should make lemonade.  Well that's all good and well, but currently, we find ourselves being stretched to the limits of optimism and good humour.  

Turns out that we are soon to be homeless and unemployed.  Okay, to be fair, we've been unemployed for several months now - nothing new there.  But the homeless element lends our situation a somewhat tragic air, as our potential new place just fell through - oops.

So now with just eleven days and counting, we have had to consider the possibility that we have used up all the magic that Bali had allotted for our motley crue.

Here's the evidence:

1.  Our super-friendly, 'you're like my family' landlord Ms. Putu, has lied to us, spread rumours about why she's 'evicting us' prematurely to other residents of the compound, and is making the vibes round here tense and unsavoury to say the least.  Teetering past in her usual high heel/tight skirt combo several times a day, she actively ignores us and we she...

2. My former eye infection has returned with a vengeance, and has now spread to both eyes, causing serious discomfort - not to mention cloudy vision - not advisable when trying to dodge fresh doggie doo-doo, splattered frogs or tiny flower and incense offerings on my morning run.  A sidelong glance in the mirror reveals that I look like a crystal meth addict.  Not a good look.

3. My baby toe on the left foot remains severely sprained thanks to Dumpies outburst last week,  making walking difficult and painful.  I can now be recognised a street away by the old lady shuffle and gait thing i have going on.

4. A totally bonkers grey-haired yoga devotee has moved in next door with a burly balding German lad she met in a local cafe.  She is old enough to be his mother, hails from California and decided on Bali as a permanent home 'until cremation' (her exact words) even before she had ever set foot on the island.  She is a strong believer in 'Chi' and believes this place - despite its rat problem - will not only help 'heal' her but build up her dwindling reserves of 'Chi'.  She now feels comfortable enough to wander into our place when we're not here and avail herself of our dvds - a level of familiarity which both confounds and mildly distresses me.

5. We're continuing to lose a ridiculous amount of clothing from the local laundry.  My knicker supply has now dwindled to half of what it was, and poor Dumps has lost not one but both of his swimsuits.  He's taken to floating around in the pool in his tiny underpants and adidas shorts.

Anyway, the sun is shining, i've had the good fortune to be able to indulge in double my usual latte quota this morning, and however short the proverbial stick we seem to be drawing these days, our luck is bound to change...eventually.  And even if it doesn't, Bali is a sure sight better than monsoon-ridden Goa at the moment.

And hey - we have that crrrrrrazy road trip to Lombok to look forward to in a few weeks.  Sick bags aside, should be fun (I hope).


  1. at least there's a lot to moan about...
    Hope it all turns around - but in the meantime it makes for a great read!

  2. ohmylordy - have got everything crossed for you! have you started putting all this into screenplay form yet?? i can see it now... seriously... i'll ring Kate Winslet and Leonardo now and get them on hold.

    keep us posted!!


  3. i'm sure one day i'll look back at this period with a slightly different perspective...but at the moment, le husband and I are wrying surveying our temporary Kingdom and watching it crumble...

    whoever said leisure was easy?


Let me know what you think!