Saturday, 18 July 2009

Sleep Deprivation and Depravity: The Link Explored

Negotiations between hostile two and five year olds can often try the most patient of parents. When you are me however, and find yourself a mere three more whines away from total meltdown (um...and let me clarify that's MY meltdown by the way) it's hard to play 'perfect mummy' and too easy to give in to 'mad mummy'.  And by that I mean 'mad' as in crazy - not angry.

When you add severe jet lag to the equation, there's no telling what you are capable of.  

(It's pitch black outside...a cozy deep sleep is interrupted by a horrible sensation in your ear.  You are jolted awake to find your toddlers fingers crammed right up into your ear cavity, wiggling around and likely doing permanent damage to your hearing...)

(Dumpie) "Mama get up!  Get up Mama!"

(Mama) "Dumpie stop it!  Ow!  Don't!"

(Dumpie)  "Me no tired.  Me bored...." 

(Mama)  "Go sleepy Dumpie it's the middle of the night..."

(Dumpie)  "Me hungry me want treat"

(Dumpie then takes his little fingers and using them like a medieval torture device, pries open one of Mama's eyes, brushing the actual eye ball in the process...)

(Mama)  "URGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!   

So yeah, I've got to work on the tolerance thing.  I've also got to learn how to train my children to respect my nocturnal needs.  

Add that to the list of:

Must train children to eat more vegetables and less 'nannies'...must teach Egg not to ask the age of every middle aged or over person he meets...(must kindly ask Egg to also refrain from giving his opinion about how close immanent demise is to those balding, sprouting white hair, or walking with some effort)...must implore Dumpie not to shriek when scary, moustachioed ladies come up close for a kiss...must train children not to beg for food (or money) from strangers...

(Note: must also train Mama to take more interest in improving parenting skills as opposed to scoffing 'Smartfood' by the bucketload whilst sneakily watching dvd on laptop while children run wild around her...)


  1. I can't get Adam out of the airplane loos either. And to be honest, if he's quiet then he can just stay there! Good on those boys. And you watched a bit of a movie... almost heaven?

  2. Oops, meant to post that comment on the post below. Am also with you on it taking 3 whines to turn me into demented she devil who ate cat nip for breakfast. I don't even have the excuse of jet lag, just pure bad temper on my part.


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