Monday, 19 May 2008

Waiting Room Blues

So this morning it was back to the stern but jovial Dr. Kahn, to see if Egg's Pee-Pee Problem had been cured by a weeks worth of sticky sweet orange antibiotic syrup. Nope. We waited in a crowded, stale, depressing waiting room for almost two hours this morning, only to discover that there was no sign of last weeks urine sample results.

Egg didn't mind too much as for the first hour there was a 4 year old girl named Olivia who spurred him on to chase her round the room and mess up the vast array of pamphlets by the door. I even minded them both while her mother gratefully conducted her appointment with Dr. Kahn in private and I tried to keep their combined shrieks down in order to minimize the dirty looks of the other patients.

When we had been there for just over an hour, Egg started to get bored...really bored...and began looking for amusing distractions. He found the form of the slightly 'slow' receptionist who was packing about an extra 100 lbs and had doleful eyes and a crew cut. She and Egg began playing silly 'games' involving whispers, jerky hand movements and comedy faces. I ignored it at first, but after some time it became obvious that she had let her office duties fall by the wayside in favour of some very engaging childs play.

They began to get louder...and louder...until everyone was staring and Egg suddenly turned to me, bored, and said, "Mama, how much do you love me?" As this is a game we play, I answered, "More than this building" and Egg looked around and said, pointing to his receptionist playmate, "More than that BIG gwirl?"

I started to blush and tried to change the subject, but Egg's next question, as he directed his gaze around the room was even worse. He pointed to an obese young Asian man slumped in the far corner and asked, "Do you love me more than THAT big man?" At this point there was nothing to say as Egg had singled out the two most obviously overweight people in view to measure my motherly love, and everyone there watched me squirm in embarrassment.

Just when I though it couldn't get any worse, Egg thought for a moment, then asked loudly, "Mama, can we measure that lady and that man and see who is the biggest?" I kid you not. I rustled around frantically in my handbag for sweets or anything to distract Egg, but for once I was without anything. He asked again, louder and more determinedly, "MAMA, I WANT TO MEASURE THAT BIG GWIRL AND THAT MAN AND SEE WHO IS THE BIGGEST!"

Moments later we were called in to see the infamous Dr. Kahn who looked a bit worse for wear. Egg was prescribed more antiobiotics after the doctor failed to find the results from last weeks test. He was greatly annoyed with my innocent question about whether I might get a call with the results when they come in and was told in a very stern tone, "Young lady, I have over 3000 patients and I cannot possibly be expected to ring you. You must come and uncover the results yourself."

Okey dokey then. Time to find a new doctor.

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