Wednesday, 25 June 2014

"Sticky Fingers Squit"

So I've got this wee problem see.  My youngest, Squit (aka 'Fat Baby') has developed a penchant for shoplifting.

This first came to my attention several weeks ago when I returned home from my daily shop, pushchair piled high with shopping bags from various local stores...

I unclipped the baby, lifted him out, and noticed that there was a pack of 'Mentos' in his seat.  At the time I didn't think much of it as I sometimes buy them and thought perhaps he'd found them in a drawer somewhere.

A few days later, a similar scenario unfolded, whereby I again unclipped the baby from the pushchair, arms loaded with shopping, and noticed that there was once again a green pack of 'Mentos' in his seat - but this time a pack of chewing gum as well - and of a variety I am not partial to and therefore would never have bought and stashed in a drawer somewhere.

I suppose that's when the penny dropped so to speak.  I knelt down, took the offending articles in hand, and very calmly asked Squit where he had got them.

"There!" he said, gesturing vaguely out the door.

"From a store?" I asked tentatively...

"YES!  From Store!" He grinned proudly.  Uh oh.

So I tried to explain that taking things from the store was wrong and that you had to pay for them or give them to Mama to pay for them...blah blah blah...(the usual 'first shoplifting lecture' known the world over I'm sure).

He smiled, snatched the goods from my hand and toddled off up the stairs, leaving me to wonder which of the many stores had fallen prey to my sticky fingered baby son.

From that point on I took great care whenever we were out shopping to steer clear of the racks of sweets near the till, and I soon forgot about it.

Until about three weeks ago when all three boys were with me at our local M&S and whilst waiting for a free till to become available.  Egg suddenly yelled, "Look Mama!" pointing down at Squit in his pushchair, who we all watched deftly snatch-'n-grab a bag of sweets, in the blink of an eye (literally - it was so quick - like one of those blurred comic book illustrations) stashing it behind his back in the pushchair then looking up cherubically at us with absolutely no look of guilt whatsoever.  I sighed.

So you can see where this is going.  I now realise that at eye level, the various shops we frequent provide too much of a temptation for the little guy - who probably bored out of his mind - cannot help his two year old self from treating every grocery errand with Mama like his own version of 'Supermarket Sweep'.

I literally, now when doing my daily run of the shops, have to swerve and twist the pushchair in bizarre formations to keep him from grabbing and stashing whatever is within his reach.  Turns out that's quite a lot.

Yesterday in the crowded post office I had to wrestle a can of beans from his grubby little paws, all the while him shrieking, "But I NEED this!"

God help me.

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