"Watching the Rupee Drop"

Lately, Dumpie has turned our cheap blue porcelain Hindustan toilet bowl into a little wishing well - tossing shiny silver one and two rupee coins down to the bottom where they settle and glint in ironic fashion.

Last week it was Egg's Nintendo stylus which was sacrificed to the cause.

I suppose I should be grateful that my pearl earrings haven't (yet) made it down there.

Problematically, these coins are procured from Egg's glass piggy bank (which originally began life as a jar of green pesto), since Dumpie does not possess one himself, long ago giving up on the whole idea of nightly 'allowance'.

In truth, the scheme fell flat several months ago.  You see Dumpie would go days without getting his allowance (due to naughty behaviour) then would torment Egg (who always got his) by stealing his coins and causing a huge uproar.

Given that they rarely got to actually spend their allowance (the choice being horrid Indian sweets or nasty plastic toys), the currency became quickly devalued.  Literally.

So now neither boy collects allowance, but Egg still has a jar stuffed full of coins...which Dumpie continues to pilfer and toss into the toilet as the desire takes him.

It's clear that we've failed miserably in trying to teach the boys about the value of money.  What with all their starting up of 'tabs' in the local beach restaurants and the way Dumps tosses full glasses of expensive juice down the kitchen sink after a mere sip or two to quench his thirst, it's clear that the monsters have a steep fiscal learning curve to traverse in their futures.

I already shudder imagining them helping themselves to items in cafes in London, thinking it will all just 'go on a tab', and being mortified by the icy stares from store staff assuming I'm using my little ones to nab free smoothies and muffins.  We're still in a recession after all.

Sharon Osbourne for ASDA (not that the plastic Queen of Darkness has EVER set foot inside an Asda - aside from filming the bloody stupid advert) claims that 'every little bit helps' as she double pats her own pantsuit-clad arse with a cheeky grin.

And they say (whoever 'they' are) that one must watch the pennies and the pounds will take care of themselves.

I wonder if watching them gleam from the bottom of a dirty toilet bowl counts?  Maybe next time I go to the loo I should make a wish.  Wish for a cleaner to fish the coins out of the bowl and scrub the toilet while they're at it.