"I Feel Like Chicken Tonight...Like Chicken Tonight"

We've been here in Toronto for 9 days now and at last the sun is behaving itself and starting to shine properly! We've had rain, chilly breezy days and now today looks promising and I have every intention of getting outside and enjoying it....only the monsters stand in the way of such lofty ambitions.

Both boys have developed coughs and colds and as every woman on the planet will attest, when the male species is sick, well the whole world collapses and grumpiness reigns. 'Whine whine whine moan whine'...and on it goes...when Mama will lose it...nobody knows. The other day it got so bad I was sorely tempted to neck half a valium, but then I remembered that I had lost my little emergency Indian stash somewhere between the taxi cab to the airport and customs (sigh).

Egg has become sorely addicted to a 24 hour kiddies cartoon channel here in Canada called 'Treehouse'. The presenters on it do my head in. They are so 'perky' and 'whacky' that if you're the least little bit hungover and tired, you stare in wonder at their huge gormless grins and often feel like smashing the tv in. (Or is that just me?). Late last night four presenters donned skin tight light blue body suits with matching bathing caps and did the craziest synchronized dance with spastic flapping chicken arm movements, googly eyes and an unbelievably retarded song with call-outs from each member. Auntie Ba and I sat transfixed, not really believing that anyone could humiliate themselves in such a fashion, and we tried to decide which was worse: being a member of this kiddies dance troupe or starring in an 'I Feel Like Chicken Tonight' commercial whereby an otherwise sane adult has to emulate an excited chicken in preparation for a yummy dinner-from-a-box. We didn't arrive at a decisive conclusion, but we did agree that perhaps shows like this were probably responsible for the multitude of uncool kiddies who grow up doing weird freaky dances in playgrounds and perpetuating the amount of choosing-to-be-childless couples in todays society.

Anyway, for his part, Dumpie has incorporated into his daily regime his best ever yet facial comedy pose. He purses his little lips up in a kiss then curls them way up to touch his nose. It is beyond funny. It is so funny that sometimes I can't even laugh because I am choking too hard.

Speaking of Dumpie, he's lost so much weight recently (despite his recent pigging out on 'Smartfood' cheese popcorn and Tim Horton's chocolate 'timbits') that he just wiggles his little hips and his formerly snug shorts slide down his little tanned legs. Then he screams 'Mama' and I have to put them back on...then he does the wiggle and they come back off...then he screams 'Mama' and the whole cycle begins again.

That my friends, is how i've spent the majority of my morning.