Sunday, 12 August 2007
Yes I know I already posted a blog today. Yes I realise that it is nearing 1 a.m. and I should be partaking of some blessed sleep right now, not hammering away on my Mac keyboard in the pitch dark as I lie here in bed. But I simply must mark this momentous day and let everyone know that today EGG DID HIS FIRST POO POO IN THE TOILET!
Now as i write this I realise how utterly far I have sunk into the depths of pathetic domestic hummdrummery (leave me alone it's my special made-up word). I realise that for all those of you who actually have a life, you must now be shaking your well-groomed heads slowly back and forth and tut-tutting over the lameness of a life whereby a plip-plop in a toilet has been met with excitement, jubilation and celebration more appropriate to someone having won the lottery.
On the otherhand, if you have been following my blog for some time now you will be aware of just how much aggravation I have withstood in trying to get my eldest, my 3 year old (stubborn-like-his-dad) son, my darling little Egg, TOILET TRAINED. You will know that having two children in nappies at the same time is like living in an abbatoir, and that being especially sensitive to smells and yucky boy habits, and being a typically feminine lass, I've had to endure a hellish several months.
But this morning the clouds shifted and a ray of hope suddenly shone through. Expecting absolutely nothing, I deposited Egg on the toilet seat and grabbed the big orange 'trick-or-treat' basket which I keep up high in the kitchen for special treats. It is chock full of chocolate bars, candies, lollipops, and every manner of kiddie bait. For whatever reason people seem to love to spoil Egg - even complete strangers in stores give him free candy - and hence I have to store it all somewhere in an effort to keep his teeth from rotting before he hits nursery school.
Anyway, I digress. This morning, just like any other morning, I had my usual chat with Egg over breakfast about whether today would be the day he does a numero deux in the toilet. And like every other day he said, "Maybe I will. Maybe I won't."
So you see, I didn't hold out much hope. Instead, I dejectedly started pulling out the various chocolate treats and laying them out on the counter in an effort to entice and appeal to his greedy childish nature. I told him that for the small price of only one 'poo poo', all this could be his. I promised him a 'lucky dip' into the 'trick or treat' basket for each specimen he provided.
Egg scrunched his face up and declared emphatically that nothing was coming. I said the magic words, 'Just squeeze Egg', (doing my best impression of labour), and lo and behold, to both of our amazement, a loud 'PLOP' was heard and I whipped him off the toilet and we both stared in wonder and disbelief at the offering sinking to the bottom of the bowl.
For the second time today I screamed for Jay to come (turns out it's not just a wife screaming him awake which really irks but 'wife screaming' in general that he's not a huge fan of) and we rejoiced like a family on crack for several minutes whilst doing a victory dance in our tiny bathroom.
So you see, just when you least expect it, the very thing you've been hoping and praying for can 'BAM' suddenly like that come upon you and change your life.
One small step for Egg is a huge step for 'Mom-kind'. Ah, the sweet smell of success...