Monday 23 December 2013

"Can Christmas Hurry Up Already?"

"Like butter wouldn't melt..."  Ha!
Two days later and I'm still finding detritus from our Xmas party on Saturday night: a straw sticking out of our crystal scotch decanter...half empty cans of beer in the boys bathroom behind a plant(??)...

However I'm pleased to say that both my and the husbands heads have now resumed their usual neural activity (ie. not great, but functional).

Today I'm meant to bring all three monsters into the West End to the husbands place of employment.  Apparently it's 'kid's day' and my job is to bundle three stir-crazy little boys into winter gear, haul them across town on public transport, and escort them into the husbands office where they will wreak havoc and more than likely embarrass and humiliate us in several different ways they haven't even yet conceived of themselves (the baby's latest favourite word is 'Damn'...he says it incessantly...well, that and 'Pizza.'  Is it any wonder that due to our heavily laden social calendar of the past month, we've had to ditch the kitchen in favour of other means, and that every time the doorbell rings now, he races to the top of the stairs and screams, 'Pizza!  Pizza?!")

Anyway I digress.  It's now chucking it down outside and the prospect of leaving is getting more and more frightening.  It's so insanely windy outside that there's a very good chance I might lose a child or two en route.  Though at least we had the presence of mind to have three of them so it's not like we didn't make biological provisions for such an occurrence.

I am looking around vainly for some sort of motivation, or even some sort of foodstuff that will embolden me to get dressed, get the monsters dressed and brave the big bad wet windy world outside.  I find none.  And of course it's way to early to have a glass of anything that might calm my already pre-frazzled nerves.

However in two days, we shall be well within our rights to crack open a bottle of fizz at the crack of dawn, and sit stupidly aside as the monsters tear open presents they don't need but will adore for 15 minutes or so until they break or get chucked over the garden fence never to be seen again.

Bring.  It.  On.

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