Wednesday, 12 September 2012

"Will The Mother of the Filthy Baby Please Stand Up?"

7 months old and already a curtain twitcher!
This morning at the pharmacy as I mentally wrestled over the difference between two cans of dry shampoo (one of which promised extra root volume in small letters, and the other in large letters - but costing 50p more?!) I was jolted out of my reverie by a kindly older black woman.

"Aw, just look at your baby...that's how babies should look!"

I wondered idly whether she might be referring to Bang-Bang's green eyes, or his cute smile or even his wacky wavy hair.  But no such luck.

She continued, "Never mind all them babies that look so perfect...what you want is a baby with  big ol' cheeks and enjoying his food!"

I sighed, and peeked over into my Phil & Ted's to confirm that yes, my baby was absolutely filthy - as was his pushchair.  The remains of a newly smuggled back from Canada, super gooey, Arrowroot biscuit were covering Bang-Bang's cheeks, hands, blanket and pushchair in general.

I smiled graciously (I am, by the way, terribly good at that) and said, "Yes, well...he loves to eat.  So..."

I got the heck out of there, wondering vaguely whether it would be pushing it to do the school run later without changing or bathing him, or whether I even cared.  I decided I didn't.

You see, I have bigger things on my mind.  One of which is my utter inability to "catch up to my life" since having a baby.

A week ago we got back from a summer spent in Toronto, Canada visiting family on our (up until now) annual visit back.  It was exhausting, but nice.

You might ask how I never managed to write more than one measly blog post the whole time I was there, but I assure you, it just didn't (and couldn't!) happen.  There was ALWAYS something that needed doing, someone who needed visiting, an email that needed to be written, a bill that needed to be paid, a baby that needed to be fed/bathed/cared for.

And so it is with some trepidation (and a lot of shamefacedness) that I humbly ask you, my blog readers (assuming there are any of you left?!), whether you will forgive this gigantic lapse, and allow me the pleasure of continuing to vent/complain/share/generally moan about whatever it is I am want to go on about, and pretend like I haven't just been a stereotypical 'new mum' - totally obsessed with new motherhood third time around, and things like the bowel movements and chubby toes of a newly hatched little Squit.

In the coming days I will attempt to bring you up to speed on life as I (now) know it, as well as a few of the more torturous/humorous tidbits from our summer abroad.  And yes, they probably paint me in a bad light.  But I'm okay with that.

But now I have to decide whether to:
a) go and see whether Egg is still watching the baby or has lost interest and now watching Scooby-Doo
b) unpack, sort and fold the clothes from our trip, languishing for over a week now in our guest bedroom
c) make my 3rd cappuccino of the day on our new, recently purchased 'old school' chrome espresso maker (bliss)



  1. Hey, here's a big high five from a blogger who also managed only one post throughout the whole of August! Bah to those swots who post every day.

    Don't worry about your beautiful crusty baby, my health visitor told me that they worry much more about the clean ones. She knew instinctively that the only reason my baby is not utterly spotless is my neurotic desire to keep her free from allergies and build up her immune system. Right.

  2. I too only managed one post all summer but I had the added excuse that I live in CUba and i have to dial up my internet. I do have lots of help but I need it. Today I am dealing with the fact that a large crab managed to get into my washing machine and was exploded by the spin mechanism and now my washing machine smells like the fetid corner of a fish port ......

    Anyway who has clean babies? and for me arguably a baby with cookie crumbs in every nook and cranny is pretty clean and entirely normal. I just fear that the whole family is going to smell a bit crabby for a while. hmmm


Let me know what you think!