Friday, 25 December 2009

"Twas the Night Before 'Frispmas'...

Twas the night before Frispmas
When all through the house
Two small Rug-Rats were stirring
Probably even a mouse (or two)...

The stockings weren't hung
By the chimney with care
In fact they lay buried
In the bathroom by the 'Nair'...

The presents weren't wrapped
And Daddy was pissed
And now come to think of it
So were Mummy (and guests)...

The children weren't snuggled
All warm in their beds
In fact they were racing
Round the ground floor like Speds...

When out on the street
There arose such a clatter
Too lazy to check
We just glanced out the shutter...

And much to our horror
We discovered the scene
Of several drunk Antipodeans
Yelling 'Gravy Margarine!'...

Then rounding the corner
Five 'Hoodies' in a row
Shouting abuse to our neighbours
In the brown slushy snow...

"Now Wankers just listen
Grab your phones and hand 'em over!
You're busted ALRIGHT...
Do it NOW or we clobber!"

The revellers just looked
Then burst into hysteric giggles
"Oh bugger off you 'ASBO'S'!"
They mocked with drunken wiggles

We left that cozy scene
And turned back to the telly
The kids sugar high
No real food in their bellies...

Just another Frispmas Eve
In our dear London town
Our shambolic household
Just about to bed down...

Will Santa Clause come?
He might...who can say...
But we've lots of champagne
So will be merry and (quite) gay!

Merry 'Frispmas' readers and thanks for being so patient as I took a self-imposed hiatus from blogging...I'm BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK (golly gosh darn it)

"Moaning Mum" xx

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