Wednesday, 17 September 2008

"Bye Poo Poo"

These were the words Dumpie triumphantly bleated at me ad infinitum this morning, lying on his back on the change table...long, skinny legs overhanging the edge and grinning gleefully. He was very pleased with himself to be able to express such relevant sentiments as I wiped and swiped his dirtied bottom into submission. We parroted the phrase back and forth, giggling uproariously (yes, my life is that lame that I find such nonsense hilarious), and I was infinitely amused by how he blows his little cheeks up like a blowfish and trumpets the words 'poo poo' out. (Less amusing was the fact that it was his THIRD bowel movement of the day and it was only 11am!!! Unfortunately Dumps took matters into his own hands - literally - with the first one of the day - taking off his soiled nappy in his cot and smearing the contents on his clean sheets.)

Verbal milestones aside, Dumps is his high spirits because his beloved Grandpa arrived yesterday and he is beside himself with excitement. They are like two peas in a pod and spent this morning giggling and playing ball. Lucky Grandpa gets to stay in the room beside the boys, but doesn't yet realize that such privilege entails random kiddie visits and next to no privacy. Ah well.

On day three of his first proper week of school, Eggie this morning announced that he didn't much feel like going to school because it is 'boring'. I felt like telling Egg, "You think schools boring? Try scrubbing toilets, hoovering 24/7 and paying that's bloody boring!" We made it to school in the nick of time, though Egg again pointed out that he is one of the few children without a Belleville book bag (they are out of stock for a few more weeks). At least Egg wasn't like one of the children today who was pulled up the stairs kicking and screaming as his beloved grandmother trudged away without a backward glance. This poor boy was in Egg's nursery as well, and could usually be found sobbing when dropped off every day.

Anyway, real life beckons. I have to find out why my cleaning lady has gone missing in action, I have to get our old flat sold in the worst property market the country has seen in years, and I have to arrange two new mortgages, oversee a bathroom and kitchen renovation in our rental flat, AND I have to entertain an extremely adorable but oh-so-demanding 22 month old every second of the day.

Would you believe me if I told you that that last challenge is almost the hardest of all? I don't need a nanny...I need to be cloned. Twice.

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