Today while shampooing, my fingers came into contact with what felt like a puppy dogs tail. Further inspection proved it to be a dreadlock. I kid you not. I am the proud owner of a daunting, sizeable dreadlock near the back right side of my head.
Friday, 28 May 2010
Posted by "Moaning Mum" at Friday, May 28, 2010
Thursday, 27 May 2010
Any bargaining power over the negotiations for the monthly salary of our new 'Pembantu' (ie. cleaner/nanny/cook) went out the window this afternoon, when I turned from my laptop to catch poor Wayan on her hands and knees, mopping up a giant pile of feces by the front door.
I grabbed a paper towel and the two of us cleaned up while a naked Dumps peered out at us with a tell-tale smirk on his face from behind the little sofa.
Those of you who have been following the adventures of Egg and Dumps for some time now, will note that I've done my best to exercise restraint and try and stay off the subject of toilet matter as much as possible. But after having woken up three days in a row with Dumpie, in a lovers embrace, the two of us soaked in urine...i feel the need to vent. (The husband and Egg have been noticeably absent...in the other bedroom, no doubt slumbering on a dry mattress.)
My current theory is that having a large pool outside the door, with two female statues continuously pouring water into the pool, has infiltrated poor Dumpies brain and caused him to wee in his sleep.
The husband has a different theory. He thinks Dumpie is doing it deliberately because he is too lazy to get up and go the the toilet three feet away.
It's embarrassing because Wayan, our new helper, comes every day for a few hours, and with three sheet changes in our room in as many days, I can't help but feel that she must think the husband and I a lusty pair.
So today I tried to explain, via awkward charade-like gestures, why the sheets needed changing yet again, but as she speaks not a word of English, and judging by her furtive nodding and sympathetic smile, and owing to my ineffective gesturing to myself 'down there', I am now convinced that she believes me to have a severe incontinence problem.
One thing i've realised, after two weeks in Bali, is that the husband and I may have three laptops, three ipods, three cameras and numerous electrical gadgets, power cords and various musical studio implements with us here in Bali. But we appear to be strangely short on basic essential like clothes...underpants...towels...
So if anyone were to say, ask us to make a tune for them or DJ at a party...we'd be laughing.
Trying to make one last pair of underpants last two days between two little boys, one of whom is currently shunning porcelein in favour of Gap cotton (and i don't even want to know what the husband is doing to solve his own particular grooming related conundrums).....now that is proving troublesome.
Alas bigger problems loom. As we speak, Dumpie is outside, one hand on the waistband of his shorts, calmly surveying the pool, no doubt weighing up the likelihood of getting away with an al fresco wee. At least he's moved on from 'watering' our landlady's prized orchids.
Posted by "Moaning Mum" at Thursday, May 27, 2010
Monday, 24 May 2010
Posted by "Moaning Mum" at Monday, May 24, 2010
Sunday, 23 May 2010
This weekend we moved into our new home. We congratulated ourselves on the reasonable rent we managed to procure, then went directly to the nearest supermarket and blew half a months rent on juices, tupperware and Bintang.
Posted by "Moaning Mum" at Sunday, May 23, 2010
Saturday, 22 May 2010
In a few short hours we check out of our gorgeous resort, which has been home to us since we arrived in Bali one week ago. I thought I would feel devastated to leave, but instead I find myself anticipating the 10 or so miles we will be putting between us and the new inhabitants of the villa next door.
Posted by "Moaning Mum" at Saturday, May 22, 2010
Thursday, 20 May 2010
The other day, dropping the monsters off for their first day of school at the utterly gorgeous 'Pelangi School' set amidst rice paddy fields, I couldn't help but mutter to the husband, "Wow...compare this to a local comprehensive in Peckham".
Posted by "Moaning Mum" at Thursday, May 20, 2010
It's amazing how quickly you can adapt to luxury. We are nearing the end of our heavenly week-long stay at easily the most beautiful tropical villa I have ever seen. What was supposed to be an indulgent treat after our recent, hardcore, hot last month in Goa, has now rendered us somewhat spoiled and reluctant to turn down the star factor a couple of notches.
Posted by "Moaning Mum" at Thursday, May 20, 2010
Sunday, 16 May 2010
So here's the deal. This place is so lush, so gorgeous, that to get our money's worth (and our senses worth) we'd have to sit here all day everyday, nestled amongst the flora and fauna in our indoor/outdoor living space, and simply stare and smile in wonderment, like a Stepford Wife...slowly rotating our heads every hour on the hour to take in the exquisite beauty.
Posted by "Moaning Mum" at Sunday, May 16, 2010
Saturday, 15 May 2010
Posted by "Moaning Mum" at Saturday, May 15, 2010
Thursday, 13 May 2010
We've been in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia for 48 hours now, and already I'm agonising over having to leave our lovely AIR-CONDITIONED, spacious hotel room tomorrow to fly to Bali.
Posted by "Moaning Mum" at Thursday, May 13, 2010
Sunday, 9 May 2010
Yesterday we roared into our yard on the Enfield, a stinking, dirty, sweaty mess, the four of us. We passed our landlady's house and the whole of the family was decked out in their finest threads, about to go to a ceremony of some sort: smart ironed jeans, beautiful sari, crisp checked shirts. Faces gleaming and black hair shampooed and shiny, they took in their filthy tenants, worn out from a day spent on the beach playing 'Connect Four' and listening to bad pop music.
Posted by "Moaning Mum" at Sunday, May 09, 2010
Friday, 7 May 2010
You know how the other day I mentioned that I felt like I was in an animated Disney Cartoon due to all the 'Creepy Crawlies' about? Well, last night felt like I was starring in my own Disney Horror/ Slasher Flick. Seriously.
Posted by "Moaning Mum" at Friday, May 07, 2010
Thursday, 6 May 2010
Here are the reasons why it is finally time to leave our Goan paradise:
Posted by "Moaning Mum" at Thursday, May 06, 2010
Tuesday, 4 May 2010
Egg has now decided to start drinking 'Chai' (gorgeously spiced Indian tea...and one of things which made us fall in love with this country in the first place). Which means of course, that Dumpie also loves chai now.
Posted by "Moaning Mum" at Tuesday, May 04, 2010
Monday, 3 May 2010
Sometimes I forget that I'm married to 'Indiana James'....and that he's married to 'Tasha Go-Lightly'...
Posted by "Moaning Mum" at Monday, May 03, 2010
Saturday, 1 May 2010
Okay, there are 'bedbugs' and there are proper BUGS in ones BED. I've got the latter.
Posted by "Moaning Mum" at Saturday, May 01, 2010